Career crisis? PETA can help you narrow down your options. Skip the aptitude tests and take this test to see if you should become an animal experimenter.
1. Do you like to hinder progress in medicine or science?
If you still hold the belief that experimentation in other animals can lead to cures for disease in humans – even if 95% of new drugs that “pass” animal trials do not work or even cause harm in human clinical trials – then becoming an animal experimenter might be for you.
The statistics for specific disease areas are even worse. Of the approximately 100 HIV vaccines successfully tested in animals, none have shown sufficient human protection against the virus in clinical trials. Of the 1,000 stroke treatments tested in animals, none have shown clinical benefit in humans. The failure rate for new Alzheimer’s drugs that have successfully passed human trials is a whopping 99.6%. Cancer? 96.6%.
As an animal experimenter, you have a chance to thwart any life-saving scientific discovery. Instead of studying human-related research such as brain organelles, organs on microcircuits, and advanced computer modeling techniques, you will apply brutal, archaic methods that don’t work. Who needs progress at all?
2. Have you missed the history lessons?
Have you heard of the worst animal test failures in history? Let us catch up with you.
In the 1950s, a drug called thalidomide was launched on the market after passing “safety tests” on animals. The drug has caused tens of thousands of deaths and serious birth defects, including deformities of the face and flipper-like arms and legs, around the world. It was discontinued, but subsequent trials in pregnant mice, rats and guinea pigs found no such side effects. The drug Vioxx, which was used to treat pain, was tested for safety in animals but was discontinued in 2004 after it was shown to double the risk of heart attacks and strokes in humans. An estimated 60,000 people died. We could list many other drugs that had to be removed from the market after being tested for safety on animals, but we would not want to tire you.
3. Do you roll your eyes to real science?
If your definition of “science” is a waste of precious time, money, and other resources, then using living, sentient beings as laboratory equipment will amaze you in every way. Ignore what “experts” say, including a Yale School of Medicine professor who co-authored an article in which he concluded that “if animal studies still cannot reasonably predict that can be expected from humans, the public further support and funding for preclinical studies in animals seems inappropriate. ” What do they even know?
4. Do you prefer greed to compassion?
To learn to cheat animals, you need to learn to cheat taxpayers and well-meaning donors into believing that their money is being used to improve human health.
Billions of tax dollars are spent annually to fund brutal procedures. Experimenters get more animals to torture and get more money to do it every year.
5. Can you offend someone without feeling remorse?
Experimenters tear baby monkeys away from their mothers to cause them severe anxiety and depression, throw mice into inevitable glasses filled with water and force them to swim, saving their lives, harsh chemicals drip into the eyes of rabbits, and much more.
At the National Institutes of Health, experimenters suck or burn parts of the brains of monkeys, put the animals in a metal box, and terrorize them with rubber snakes and spiders.
At Texas A&M University, experimenters repeatedly used a motorized lever to stretch the muscles of golden retrievers that had been bred with canine muscular dystrophy to cause muscle tears. At Johns Hopkins University, experimenters cut out the skulls of barn owls, insert electrodes into their brains, make them stare at screens for hours, and bombard them with noise and light.
These are just a few examples. As an animal experimenter, you will be part of an industry that tortures and kills over 100 million animals every year.
So should you experiment with animals?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, you will become a great animal experimenter. But if you want to advance science and medicine and if you believe the animals are not ours to use as living test tubes, we hope that you will join us in opposing useless experiments on them and will instead insist on humane research concerning person.
Help stop cruel and deadly animal experiments